Why you must create safety first, or self sabotage will win
This post will explore why safety is one of the most undervalued skills, tools, and resources you need to achieve any type of success and how, when you harness it, your performance will soar.
“You have to create safety first, or else self sabotage will always win.”
You have to create safety first, or else self sabotage will always win.
Safety is one of the most undervalued skills, tools, and resources you need to achieve any type of success.
Success could be: Parenting. Partnership. Performance. Promotion. Physically.
When you create safety, first, your performance in each
of these areas will soar.
If not, self sabotage can seep in and cause disruption. Because it no longer feels safe in the area of success, because you’re breaking free from the pack, and your brain is warning you of danger.
Of being an outcast and shunned from the group.
The problem is, it’s assumed that safety comes from outside sources or circumstances, which is also a great addition, but isn’t a sustainable source.
Why? Because it constantly changes.
When safety can be cultivated from within, you know you can handle whatever changes come up.
If not, you’ll jump into a shame spiral for feeling like a ‘failure.’
Creating safety takes:
intentionality upfront
a decision to lean into the discomfort
bold boundaries
Boundaries to not only protect yourself but also decide what thoughts, opinions, and criticism will be allowed in (and won’t be permitted).
When these are in order, success won’t feel as threatening to the body, which means you can move forward and not get stuck in sabotaging cycles.
We create safety ahead of time, with the relationship you have with YOU first.
We battle together (what obstacles get in the way).
Then we build up a mindset, toolkit, and safety to then become the person who welcomes external success in relationships, business, finances, parenting, and any other goals. Let’s connect.
Healing self sabotaging behaviors
ABOUT THE AUTHOR I’m Meg Smithson and I remember vividly the heartache, distress, and agony that self sabotaging behaviors caused me. Between eating disorders, anxiety, major self doubt, and constant imbalance, I couldn’t seem to live the fulfilling life I imagined.
If you are currently dealing with this, I get it & know exactly how you feel.
I spent a decade of heartache striving to fit the elusive mold of what mainstream considered “perfect” all while trying to figure out why I was put on this earth.
I learned to listen to what I needed…
…not what others expected of me. Gradually, I felt freedom like I had never imagined I could.
What does a relationship coach do?
Now, I teach women to find that freedom, too, by helping them create the relationship that they really want, faster by first healing their attachment to shame, people pleasing, & perfectionism.
Click to schedule a free consult!
Meg Smithson, Life Coach
Meg coaches women by identifying areas of self sabotage, helping them break up with the shame that usually accompanies that, and then shows them how to set boundaries around the emerging 2.0 version they want to become, and live that life, unapologetically.
Click to schedule a life coaching consultation with Meg.
