Protective Parts Keep You Safe, but Stuck
This post will explore why the the protective parts of you are keeping you stuck and why we default to disaster.
“What if it all works out.”
“What if it all works out” is a phrase that does amazing things to my nervous system.
Why? Because my brain (like most) is wired to pay attention to anything negative, stressful, life threatening, or essentially anything ‘unsafe.’
But, if you’re wanting to grow, stretch your capacity and reach new heights, you have to train your brain to find safety inside of trying out new unsafe actions.
There is something that I’m currently working on, and my brain finds ‘even having the belief of it happening,’ as threatening. It seems unsafe, exhausting to try to combat the unbelief that pops up, and tries to hold my thoughts captive to the default of “disaster” and “it’s never going to happen (for me).”
Those sound terrible and defeating, right?
I’ve tried to dissect this, in my own thought & belief work and realized it’s really uncomfortable for me to stay in belief mode for long periods of time, especially in areas that I’ve never conquered before.
The possible threat of disappointment looming ahead can become a red flag for my own nervous system and then default back into “it’s never going to work” thinking, so that I give up and go back to comfort thoughts. My brain has then created “parts” in order to protect me from feeling this.
But, these protective parts don’t have to rule my life.
This simple awareness is gold. This is a sign to pay attention to, and have compassion for, and then work THROUGH it, versus submit to a thought (or protector part) you don’t want controlling the shots.
The awareness gives you something to work with, and then shows where the work (to tackle) actually is.
If I know that one of my unproductive default thoughts is “it’s never going to happen (for me)” and I want to get to “what if it all works out,” it just going to take noticing (awareness) this BATTLE (of this unwanted thought) and calling it out when it shows up.
Then, it’s BUILDING (this new wanted thought), intentionally and consistently over time.
Until finally, it’s BECOMING (the person who has what she’s after) because she’s become the person who thinks this wanted thought, on purpose, with less energy and drama.
Unlearning old beliefs makes space for new learned beliefs.
Building new beliefs that seem unsafe, takes time and compassion as you build that bridge to the new belief.
That’s what coaching is all about. You have a goal that seems scary to even believe.
I help hold that belief in you and your goal, until you believe it for yourself.
Together, we get you there while healing & having fun, making it simple, and fulfilling.
We make space, so the highest YOU can finally emerge.
If you’re ready to get out of your own way, faster, let’s set up a time for a consult call to discuss 1-on-1 high level coaching.
When you start to tap into possibility, doors open that you never believed were possible. Let’s connect.
Healing self sabotaging behaviors
ABOUT THE AUTHOR I’m Meg Smithson and I remember vividly the heartache, distress, and agony that self sabotaging behaviors caused me. Between eating disorders, anxiety, major self doubt, and constant imbalance, I couldn’t seem to live the fulfilling life I imagined.
If you are currently dealing with this, I get it & know exactly how you feel.
I spent a decade of heartache striving to fit the elusive mold of what mainstream considered “perfect” all while trying to figure out why I was put on this earth.
I learned to listen to what I needed…
…not what others expected of me. Gradually, I felt freedom like I had never imagined I could.
What does a relationship coach do?
Now, I teach women to find that freedom, too, by helping them create the relationship that they really want, faster by first healing their attachment to shame, people pleasing, & perfectionism.
Click to schedule a free consult!
Meg Smithson, Life Coach
Meg coaches women by identifying areas of self sabotage, helping them break up with the shame that usually accompanies that, and then shows them how to set boundaries around the emerging 2.0 version they want to become, and live that life, unapologetically.
Click to schedule a life coaching consultation with Meg.
