How to use your thought life to become the person you want to be

This post will teach you how to use your thought life to become the person you want to be through the Battle, Build, Become method.

Overcoming obstacles

What in your life, currently, do you find HARD, FRUSTRATING, and nearly IMPOSSIBLE to conquer? Let’s list some areas of life to get your mind thinking (in nothing immediately comes to mind):

• Marriage

• Dating

• Dieting

• Finances 

• Body image

• Fashion 

• Parenthood

• Career

• Business 

• Family

Ok, this list could go on and on, but I want you to choose the ONE that you’ve struggled with the most, and think about it for a second.  

Evaluating Your Thought Life

→ How do you talk to yourself about this specific area? 

→ Do you find it hard? Frustrating? Impossible? 

→ Do you feel like you don’t measure up, are behind, or defected in this specific    area? 

If I had to guess, whatever you’re saying to yourself in regards to this struggle, probably isn’t pretty nor productive, is it? 

Bare with me as I’m going to be blunt here for a second: 

Recycling these judgmental, unproductive thoughts are going to keep you getting the same results. They aren’t going to negatively ‘motivate’ you to change for good. 

I’m going to use a personal example to show what I mean to really bring home the point. 

I used to think I was horrible with fashion. I used to blame my body shape for a lot of my reasons for hating shopping and fashion. I had a ton of clothes, but didn’t believe I knew how to put things together, didn’t know how to find clothes that fit my body, and that shopping for fashionable clothes always had to cost a lot of time, money, and truth be told, sanity.  

Oh the stories I would believe as factual… 

Your Thoughts Lead to Your Outcomes

Every time I would walk into my closet, I would feel overwhelmed. Why? Because I found it all HARD, EXHAUSTING, and IMPOSSIBLE. 

And, guess what, the more I thought about this, the more it became all of those things (hard, exhausting, and impossible). 

I would gather evidence anytime clothes wouldn’t fit in the dressing room. I would also gather evidence when I couldn’t put my outfits together in a decent amount of time, without making a mess in my closet. I would end up being frustrated and overwhelmed and also have EVIDENCE proving myself ‘right’ that I was no good at fashion. 

Ya’ll, we do this kind of thing alllllllll the time and then are so ‘proud’ to say “see, I told you I was no good at fashion (or fill in the blank of what your struggle area is).” 

What happens is our brain then continues to do this over and over again, which then will prove that story that we believe as fact, true. 

Identify and Study Your Battle

This is what I want you to stop and do for a second : identify and study your BATTLE (the thing that is hard, difficult, and exhausting).

• Do you have a broken record playing in your mind of negative feedback proving yourself right? 

• Do you truly believe that this area of your life is impossible? 

Let’s disrupt that negative, unproductive pattern of thoughts that isn’t doing anything but making you ‘think’ it’s hard, exhausting, and impossible. 

Build a New Belief

In order to disrupt that area of your life that seems hard, frustrating, and impossible, we have to BUILD a new belief around the result that you ultimately want, and BREAK-UP with that inner bully dialogue that is keeping you from seeing that it doesn’t have to be hard, nor frustrating, and that what you want is possible. 

If what you want is NOT happening with the current thought life, this is what’s got to go: the unproductive negative criticism coming from that inner bully. 

Back to the personal fashion example of how this drastically transformed this area of my life, here’s what I did:

I had to get curious about “what if this was possible for me to enjoy fashion in my own way?” What if it didn’t have to cost an arm and a leg, take all of my time (both shopping and getting outfits put together), and could be fun rather than dreadful?”

• I had to replace that bully talk (and truly BREAK-UP with it) and instead BUILD a new BELIEF about BECOMING a woman who could be fashionable. 

• How would she act when she walked into her closet? 

• How would she view the process of shopping, trying clothes on, and putting outfits together? 

• How would she view her body? 

Stay with me here for a second, but simply switching over my default bully talk into possibility started transforming something inside of me. 

I ‘tried on’ thoughts that sounded like:

• This could be fun

• This could be easy

• This could be simple 

Again, my belief wasn’t fully there yet, but I was starting to tackle this BATTLE of mine, BUILD a new one with something that could serve me, vs keep me stuck longer: productive thoughts. I started looking for positive evidence of these thoughts instead of my default thoughts. 

I started approaching this area of my life, differently and slowly, shifts started taking place. 

Become the YOU You Want to Be

And, as a result mini shifts were happening and I was BECOMING better at fashion. My mind was blown. It was working!!!

Right now, think about that BATTLE in your life, and the way that you talk to yourself about it. What if you start getting curious and see if this area could be fun, could be easy, and could be simple? Could you BUILD a new belief including these possible thoughts? How does that make you feel?  

When you tried on thoughts of fun, easy, and simplicity around your BATTLE, did you have more thoughts that were willing to try to see it in a new light? 

Then did you feel Calm? Excited? Curious? 

When you take on the thoughts & feelings of curiosity, you become more kid-like and less perfectionist driven. 

An area of my life, fashion, that seemed so hard, so daunting, so frustrating, and soooooo impossible became fun, simple, and easy. That is why I wanted you to try those thoughts on. 

All of those stories I was telling myself about fashion were not true, yet I believed them to be for so long which resulted in me repeating the result for years of not being good at fashion. 

There were a lot of thoughts I had, originally, that I left unchallenged and thus kept thinking that I was bad at fashion because that was the result that I kept thinking. But, when I challenged the story I had believed for so long in this realm, I then started proving it wrong on purpose. 

From this place of curiosity, I found a way that worked for me with what I wanted. And, alongside that curiosity, I gave myself the luxury of time, so I didn’t make rash decisions or settle for items I didn’t love just to check it off a list. 

I wanted it to be fun (I found a place to shop that I’m obsessed with: Simply Chic). 

I wanted it to be simple and easy (I only shop a few times a year and I found a way to do this efficiently and effectively without costing an arm and a leg). Also, I only keep things that I will wear and 100% love, not just items that take up space or for the sake of a good sale.. When you do this, you seek quality over quantity,  only have in your closet what you will wear, and donate what’s just taking up space so that someone else can enjoy what’s just collecting dust otherwise.

Your Brain Believes What You Think

Here’s the thing, your brain is going to find evidence for whatever story you’re believing. Why not purposely find evidence for what you want to have happen ahead of time instead of defaulting into something you don’t want, unconsciously? 

Anything that you want to achieve in this world, and currently is a battle of yours, you can challenge & change. It simply takes identifying your BATTLES, break-up with the inner bully & BUILD a new BELIEF, and finally choose thoughts ahead of time that will help you BECOME the person with the result you’re after. 

Are you ready? THIS is how I help you take the reins of your life back & learn how to have the most epic relationship with YOURSELF (which is the root foundation to all other relationships). 

I help women create the relationship that they want, faster.

Let’s chat! Click to book a consult call now.

Meg Smithson, Life Coach

Meg coaches women by identifying areas of self sabotage, helping them break up with the shame that usually accompanies that, and then shows them how to set boundaries around the emerging 2.0 version they want to become, and live that life, unapologetically.

Click to schedule a life coaching consultation with Meg.